The Children in our care
What makes a child “at risk” and what are they “at risk” of?
The children in our care come from all over Israel and from all different sectors of society. They are sent to us by the Ministry of Welfare after having gone through a very difficult process including hospitalizations, the judicial system, and severe instability. On the outside, they may seem like your average child or teen, but inside they suffer from trauma-induced turmoil as a result of their unstable, sometimes dangerous, upbringings. Sadly, the homes they grew up in were filled with neglect, abuse (sexual, physical, and/or emotional), shame, and pain, and they come to our Children’s Home with scars that would deny them of a normal, happy life without the necessary intervention. These children learned to hide their fear and despair behind barriers of anger and distrust, often expressing themselves with aggressive and destructive behavior.
Our dedicated staff of psychologists, therapists, counselors, social workers, and teachers, are devoted to the children’s growth and progress, slowly and carefully building trusting relationships with them and giving them the tools to trust themselves. Without this therapeutic intervention, and the individualized approach we pride ourselves on at the Jerusalem Hills, the cycle of aggression, abuse, neglect, and general instability would continue from generation to generation. We work hard to eliminate this risk by involving the families and caregivers of each child as much as possible in their journey at the Children’s Home, receiving weekly psychotherapy sessions as a family unit, and being in close contact with their children’s carers at the Home.
Due to their extreme emotional and psychological difficulties, as a result of their trauma, many of the children do not benefit from conventional therapies and education frameworks alone. Talk therapy as a stand-alone approach is simply not enough and we therefore provide alternative tools, which among others include art, music, crafts, sports, photography, and pet therapy, enabling them to explore difficult emotions in an intuitive, non-verbal way. This supports their recovery and helps facilitate our overall goal; to rehabilitate the children so that they can re-enter mainstream society and go on to lead normative lives.
We provide the children in our care with the knowledge and life skills needed to return to their communities as functioning, independent members of society. They are taught how to be responsible with money, how to behave with proper hygiene, how to cook, how to build meaningful relationships, and more. Without these skills, they are at risk of falling onto dangerous paths with less-than-ideal company.
Unfortunately, in recent years, we have seen a rise in sexual abuse cases among the girls who come to our Children’s Home. It is a sad fact that those who experience sexual abuse are more likely to perpetrate the same sort of abuse on others, so we created a program to empower our teen girls designed for them to move beyond the traumatic experiences of their childhood and in doing so, facilitate healing from their severe emotional and psychological states. The program includes psychological therapy and physical activities, with an emphasis on body image and self-esteem.
Rivka
Rivka didn’t have a chance from the start. Her mother, a drug–addicted criminal, couldn’t take care of her. Her father died in prison before she was born. The first years of Rivka’s life were rough. By the time she was 8, she knew more about tragedy and neglect than most people learn in a lifetime – Rivka took care of her sick mother until she died.
Rivka shielded herself from the pain and horror of her life by distancing herself from all her emotions. While on the outside she seemed to get along, on the inside she felt vulnerable and unstable. She had learning difficulties, was plagued with fears and couldn’t sleep at night.
Luckily for Rivka, Israeli social service authorities placed her at the Children’s Home in our new project for at-risk teen girls. When she arrived she was unable to feel or express any emotions and could not form normal relationships with other children or staff. The Children’s Home staff is now working with her, trying to help her experience, explore and understand her emotions.
Doron
Doron is a child of divorce and, like many such children, blames himself for the failure of his parent’s marriage. His mother, a self-centered woman who deserted the family, often told Doron that he was the cause of all her troubles. Doron never knows where to reach his mother as she moves around without leaving a forwarding address. His father has been divorced twice more.
Doron grew up feeling worthless. When he arrived at the Children’s Home he felt incapable of performing the easiest tasks and couldn’t form relationships with others. The repressed anger he felt for his mother was turned against the staff who were trying to help him. He would often try to run away from the Home and endanger himself by climbing on the gates and roofs.
Now in his third year, Doron is finally showing signs of progress. He is beginning to show promise in his studies and to sense his own value.
Yelena
Yelena was born in Belorussia. She came to Israel with her parents and brothers when she was a few months old. Her father was an alcoholic and a very violent man, against whom the courts put out a restraining order. Soon after divorcing his wife, he drowned at sea. Her mother is unemployed and lives with her older son. She is very passive and weak, afraid not only of the authorities but also of her son who is a drug addict and controls the household through violence.
Yelena began suffering from physical abuse at the age of four. In turn, she became abusive and violent towards other children in kindergarten. She was placed with a foster family, after which she revealed she had been sexually molested by her older brother. Her violent behavior eventually had her removed from the foster family and placed in a children’s shelter, but her emotional problems were too severe, and she was finally placed at our Children’s Home when she was 8 years old.
When she came to us she seemed full of life and energy, with survival skills, but her inner world was in turmoil, overwhelming her with fears and anxieties. Her early childhood experiences haunted her. Her most basic experience was that of instability.
Today, after four years at the Home, Yelena easily forms relationships with adults and children. She asks for help and is able to discuss and describe her inner world. She has ceased her violent behavior; she likes to study and looks forward to moving on to a regular school framework.
Reuven
Reuven, who lived in shelters since he was three, moved into the Children’s Home at age 12. His mother was emotionally unstable to start with and got worse after Reuven’s father died. Now, she is incapable of caring for herself.
At the shelters Reuven never learned to form interpersonal relationships either with children, or with adults. He was restless and often aggressive. His mother had never even bothered to toilet train him.
Staff members at the Children’s Home are providing steady support to Reuven. He now lives in a secure, protected environment surrounded by people who show daily that they care about him. Reuven is slowly learning to accept the fact that his mother will never be able to love him and has begun to develop and enjoy close relationships with others.
Ilana
Ilana today is a 12.5-year-old girl who is always neat, attractive and well-dressed. She is a very pretty girl who has a huge artistic talent. During her last year she also began learning how to knit and sew. The Home’s seamstress took her under her wing and let her blossom. At the graduation ceremony, Ilana walked down the aisle to get her diploma, wearing a lovely pair of slacks that she had sewn herself.
When Ilana first came to the Home at the age of 8.5, on the one hand she seemed to function normatively, but on the other hand was on the edge of paranoia. She did not believe that anyone did anything to help her without ulterior motives; she felt constantly deprived; she always perceived herself as being the last – in line, in getting the afternoon snack, in being attended to. This paranoia fed upon her early childhood experiences. Born to mentally ill parents, Ilana’s early years were marked by a dysfunctional home, severe neglect and exposure to inappropriate sexual nuances.
During her four years at the Children’s Home, Ilana learned to identify her paranoid behavior and laugh at herself. She allowed the staff to see her weaknesses as well as her strength and desisted from constantly presenting a calm, controlled front. Ilana will continue at the WIZO youth village in Haifa where she will attend a regular school, go to afternoon art classes and develop her unique abilities. She will continue learning how to make the best of the help offered her and put it to good use.
